Why Chicks Rule

The visit.

I was thrilled and mortified. My long lost gal pal from London was coming for a visit, our first since my wedding two years ago. Yes, she last saw me back when I was a shadow of my present pregnant, Mom-ified suburban self. About 30 pounds and several hundred gray hairs ago. I have since taken to wearing sensible shoes and jeans that cost less than my car. She on the other hand, remains unmarried though safely attached, with a fabulous career in interactive media, a showroom type house, several kickboxing and Pilates classes per week and the wardrobe to better showcase said classes’ results.

I was dying to see her – she would finally meet my 14 month old “baby,” then we were jetting off to New York for the weekend of shopping and partying for her and longing and self-pitying for me. Nearly 7 months pregnant, I could not drink, stay up late, buy any clothes, stand or walk for long periods of time or even eat very much. Plus I was on a budget. What fun for her.

I spent nearly twelve minutes preparing my hair and makeup and wardrobe for the airport pickup, a luxury from the usual four. My son grappled variously with my hoop earrings and trendy scarf and hat, throwing one item after the other under the bed or in the direction of the toilet. Heels were out of the question due to my imbalance, aching back and general body type of a Blue Meanie from the Beatle’s Yellow Submarine cartoon movie (no neck, all giant torso and thighs on spindly feet). I settled on my one pair of maternity jeans that stay up, and flat but expensive black boots.

I waited anxiously outside the terminal, everything between my neck and knees safely hidden under a large black winter coat. She emerged from the building, chocolate hair shining, lip gloss glistening, shearling coat flowing behind her, toting two small, stylish carry on pieces of luggage that were not pastel colored or thrown up on. She got in the car, we embraced, and it was suddenly obvious she was far younger and less tired than I….but she saw the old me.

“You look great!” she beamed, all of her unclogged pores radiating health and maintenance.

“You lie,” I laughed, sucking in my cheeks.

She adored my son. She lavished us with gifts from Cadbury and Harrod’s. She helped with the dishes. And all weekend she kept telling me I looked great. Even when I cut out of an afternoon of New York City window shopping to don my XXL pajamas and take a nap in the hotel. Which was, of course, the most fun I had all weekend.

She understood. Solid girlfriends just rule, don't they?

Those pesky ear infections

Many mothers are troubled by the frequency of ear infections in their young babies. The pain and discomfort suffered by the child can be alarming for first time mothers, as can the frequent prescription of antibiotics. Fortunately, there is a great website for getting educated on ear infections, forwarded to me by a caring, devoted mom:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ear-infections/EI99999/PAGE=EI00001

It takes about an hour to review all the information, so for all of you who are less than devoted, or would rather spend that hour on J.Jill.com, here’s a quick summary:

Symptoms of an ear infection include fussiness, loss of appetite, low grade fever, pulling at the ears, sleeplessness, and screaming while pointing to the offending ear while “flipping the bird” to Mom with the other hand.

Unfortunately, due to the small size of the ear “tubes,” at this age, ear infections are not only common but normal, according to my pediatrician, who apparently specializes in maddening infant afflictions for which there seem to be no cause or cure. However, there are some preventative steps you can take:

1) Do not feed your baby his bottle in his crib. If he drinks while lying on his back, chances of developing an ear infection increase. In addition, milk or formula consumed while lying flat has a tendency to pool in the mouth, causing tooth decay. If you can’t be bothered to feed your baby his morning bottle yourself instead of climbing back into bed, perhaps you should ask yourself what kind of mother you really are.
2) Take immediate action at the first sign of a cold, or congestion in your baby. During winter months, avoid malls, playgroups and daycare. If you notice a runny nose, coughing, labored breathing or your infant attempting to plug in the humidifier you dug out from the basement but never turned on, you’ve got a congestion problem. Immediately limit your outings by staying in the house with your baby for the months of January through April. If you go out under the auspices of “grocery shopping” but instead head to Sak’s or a spa, we’ll know.
3) Bath time mistakes – Submerging your infant underwater during bath time is a surefire way to get an ear infection, even if he seems to enjoy it. Objects like Q-tips, washcloths, pipe cleaners an rubber duckies should not be forced too deeply into the ear canal, especially when wet. When drying baby, do not hold him upside down or shake him, even if he again indicates amusement at such activities. You’re older and you should know better. Do not use a hairdryer on his ears. They will dry on their own.
4) Refrain from unearthing your husband’s Power Washer from the garage. Flushing the canal, particularly with this kind of force, while tempting, will just do no good at all.

Finally, when you pick up the dreaded antibiotic prescription, read the directions. Some of them need to be mixed with water, and some actually need to be refrigerated. Some are given once a day, some are three times a day, some every other day - for God’s sake, read the instructions.

Give ALL the medication prescribed, even if you think you and your baby are those “special” people who don’t need to follow the rules like everyone else. Perhaps you feel you’re not responsible for the national epidemic of failing antigens due to strengthening strains of bugs caused by people who only take their medication until they feel like it, or until they decide they’re “all better.” Jesus, they drive me bonkers!

Take your drugs, all of them!

Finally, take your baby for regular visits to his pediatrician, no matter how much the co-pay is.

If you follow these simple instructions, there’s no guarantee whatsoever that the ear infections will either stop or lessen in severity. In fact, they probably will do neither. But at least you can rest assured that as usual, you’ve consumed all the latest available information in vain.

Happy parenting!