Things I have learned...

...as a parent.

1. Bath toys get moldy. Especially the ones with secret squirt holes. One moment you're playing with your 2 year-old in the tub and the next you inadvertently send a stream of black gook his way.

2. Time is longer and shorter than you think.

3. All boring cliches are true. Especially when it comes to parenting. Ex: "It goes by so fast." And, "You can survive on very little sleep."

4. TV is not the worst thing you can do to your child. Especially if it gives you ten minutes to actually get dressed or use the bathroom.

5. Any marriage that survives the parenting of small children deserves a gold star.

6. When you feel like you're a bad mother, you can always just turn on the news/read the newspaper / go to TMZ.com and find someone way worse than you.

7. There is no resource more valuable than older parents who have been there. Unless they're your parents.

8. Little kids, hit, bite and push. Hopefully it will pass. Or, not. Sometimes they grow up to be bankers.

9. You can over-parent.

10. Kids don't know the difference between new and second hand clothes. Toys, maybe. But not clothes.