That MBTA driver texting his girlfriend while driving a subway trolley – and causing an accident injuring 50 people! What a horrendous story! The kind of thing that happens and you think – what an idiot! Texting while driving a subway car full of people!
Then a moment passes and you think: That could have been me. If I drove a subway, I mean.
We all do it. Driving distractions. My favorite driving distraction is getting angry at other drivers doing distracting things that I was just doing. Like talking on the cell phone. Drinking coffee. Reading. Making egg salad. You know. You all do it too.
In fairness to the publicly scorned MBTA driver (he had two previous speeding tickets! Criminal!) herewith a list of things I confess to have done while driving.
I have made and received phone calls
Made doctors appointments
Canceled doctors appointments
Canceled my paper for a vacation
Called my pet sitter
Called my pet
Eaten breakfast
Eaten lunch
Ordered dinner
Drank coffee
Vomited
Filed my nails
Tweezed my eyebrows
Texted
Twittered
Shuddered
Screamed
Cried
Laughed
Argued
Negotiated
Backed down
Had contractions
Taken drugs
Planned a wedding
Sang
Sped
Veered
Peed (yes, it’s true)
Farted (kidding – I’ve never farted)
Laughed again
Changed shoes
Changed clothes
Changed realtors
Things I have not yet done while driving:
Slept
Gotten divorced
Clipped my toenails
Flossed
Brushed
Rinsed
Danced
Switched seats
Done a paint by number
Ordered a cute bathing suit from a catalog
Changed the asset allocation in my 401(k)
Changed a diaper
Given birth
Given blood
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